Take Back Your Love Story
Online Couples Therapy for Infidelity, Affairs, and Betrayal
Couples Therapy for a Stronger Us.
Heal from Infidelity (or other betrayals) with
Emotionally Focused Therapy
We'll get real right from the start.
In our first sessions, we’ll talk about the event or experience that caused the deep hurt. For example, this might be an instance of infidelity, feeling abandoned during a crisis, or another breach of trust that left one partner feeling unsupported or unsafe. You’ll each have a chance to share your perspective, and we’ll focus on helping the injured partner express the emotional impact of the event—what it felt like, why it hurts, and how it affects their sense of safety in the relationship.
We need to ensure our sessions feel safe for both of you, because without that foundation, our work won’t succeed.
Before diving deeper, we’ll work on creating a safe and supportive space. I’ll help you both regulate intense emotions so that we can explore this sensitive topic constructively. For the injured partner, this means having the freedom to express pain without fear of being dismissed. For the partner who caused the injury, this means creating space to listen and begin to respond with understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Then we'll explore what each of you are thinking and feeling. This step is about getting to the heart of what’s really happening emotionally for both of you. For the injured partner, we’ll explore the deep feelings behind the hurt, such as fear, sadness, or anger, and connect them to unmet needs (e.g., feeling safe, valued, or loved). For the partner who caused the injury, we’ll work on understanding their emotions—guilt, shame, or even fear—and help them see the injury from their partner’s perspective. Through this process, we’ll uncover the attachment needs driving the pain, like a desire for reassurance, comfort, or closeness.
Next, the person who was injured will have the chance to truly be seen and heard in their hurt. The next step involves helping the partner who caused the injury respond with genuine empathy. This is where healing begins.The injured partner will describe what they need to feel understood, such as having their emotions validated or hearing their partner acknowledge the depth of the hurt. The partner who caused the injury will practice active listening, reflecting back what they’ve heard, and offering responses that show emotional attunement. This isn’t about fixing things right away but about creating a sense of "You see me. You get it."
I'll guide the offending partner to offer an apology that works. We’ll work on crafting an apology that feels meaningful and healing for the injured partner. This isn’t a quick “I’m sorry,” but a deep acknowledgment of the hurt caused, the emotional impact, and a genuine commitment to change. We’ll practice what this looks like in session—so both partners feel the sincerity and weight behind the apology.
Then we'll begin building your new, stronger relationship.
In this stage, we focus on action. The partner who caused the injury will show through consistent behaviors that they are trustworthy and committed to the relationship. For the injured partner, we’ll explore what they need to feel safe again. This might include clear boundaries, reassurance, or simply seeing small daily efforts that show care.
Together, we’ll create new, positive patterns of interaction to replace old cycles of hurt and defensiveness.
This injury will become part of a new narrative.
Finally, we’ll work to reframe the injury—not as the defining moment of your relationship but as something you’ve faced and grown stronger from together. This doesn’t erase the pain but helps transform it into a story of resilience: "We went through something difficult, and we came out stronger, more connected, and more understanding of each other."
My role is to guide you through this process with compassion, helping you navigate the pain and rediscover the connection and security that brought you together in the first place. Healing is possible—and I’m here to help you take the first steps.
An attachment injury can feel overwhelming, but it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond in ways you may never have imagined.
Frequently asked questions for couples recovering from infidelity
-
What are couples therapy sessions like?At this time, weekly counseling sessions are online. Our first session will be spent getting to know one another, discussing what’s led you to therapy, and giving you an opportunity to ask me questions. Then I will meet with each partner individually to learn about each persons family history, relationship history, and your individual concerns about the relationship. After that, all sessions will be with both partners present. Weekly counseling sessions are a combination of conversation, skill building, and communication practice as we talk about about your relationship concerns. We'll talk lot about feelings to help you communicate your feelings with each other in a way that is understood. Through this process you'll be learning tools to use in your day-to-day life. If needed, I'll offer referrals to other disciplines, such as psychiatry, primary care, individual therapy, etc. Most of all, I will hold space for you both to practice open, honest, and kind communication.
-
How do I know if Couples Therapy will work for me?There are times when individual therapy may be more appropriate than marriage counseling. These times include: Couples in which one or both partners have an active addiction. If there is an ongoing affair that hasn't ended yet. If being in the same room for a long time is too triggering (potential trauma reaction) or you haven't been able to be in the same space without being civil in a period of time - this format will not be productive. If there is active intimate partner violence, this is not an option.
-
Are you a licensed therapist?Yes! I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Minnesota and Oregon. I am also a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor in Minnesota. MN LICSW 21464 OR LICSW L12818 MN LADC 303706
-
How long are counseling sessions?Typical sessions are 50 minutes in length. Some clients prefer 90 or 110 minute sessions and those are also available depending on availability.
-
Do you offer in person therapy?I currently only offer services online.
-
How long will I need to be in therapy?I meet with clients weekly and each session lasts for 50 minutes. It is hard to know how long therapy will take as many things impact how quickly progress can be made. Couples therapy is always best conceived of as short-term therapy. In good couples therapy, the relationship gets the help it needs to grow–learning how to communicate well, how to disagree productively, how to get needs met, and address difficult issues. Through that process, vulnerabilities that each member of the relationship brings to the table are identified or exposed in new ways. You can expect me to regularly engage the question of how the couples therapy is going and be sure it’s continuing to add value to the relationship. While I may have recommendations, the decision for how long to continue with the couples therapy is up to you. I usually recommend that couples start with 6-months of weekly sessions as a trial period to make sure you are finding this therapy helpful.
-
Why EFT over another couple's therapy?In short, because it works!Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. In clinical trials it has a 70-73% success rate and 90% of couple report improvements. Other marriage and family therapies only have a 40-50% success rate.
-
Do you offer a free consultation?Yes, I offer a free 15 minute consultation call. When reaching out before a first couples therapy session, share enough to gauge whether you want to make an initial appointment, but be aware that, unless both of you are on the phone, it may be best to share little beyond the essentials in this conversation so your first encounter with the therapist gives both of you the chance to present the relationship.
-
What type of couples counseling do you do?I do a type of marriage counseling called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) which is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with me, we will do a thorough assessment of your relationship, discover your relationships specific strengths and area's for growth, and discuss what makes for emotionally secure relationships. We'll deep dive into: Discovering the interactional pattern you have been caught in that keeps you feeling distant in your marriage Exploring the underlying emotions and longings that are at the heart of the cycle you are stuck in Changing your communication to be effective and clear communication Rebuilding trust in the relationship, especially if there has been a betrayal of some kind Enhancing your sexual satisfaction so you can reconnect in an intimate way Building a secure relationship bond in your marriage ... and so much more!
-
Is it weird to seek Couple's therapy if we aren't married?No. In fact, many of the couples I see are not married. There are all kinds of relationships, and all sorts of reasons for seeking help.
-
How Does Online Therapy Work for Couples?Online therapy provides the same structured, research-based approach as in-person sessions, with the added convenience of meeting from your own space. We connect through a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform, ensuring privacy and confidentiality. You and your partner can join from the same location or separate ones. I facilitate discussions, offer real-time guidance, and help you navigate challenges in your relationship—all without the stress of travel or scheduling conflicts. Sessions are available in 50-minute, 90-minute, or 100-minute options, depending on your preference and the depth of work needed. Many couples find online therapy just as effective, if not more so, due to the comfort of being in their own environment.
-
What Can I Expect During a Couples Therapy Session?In a couples therapy session, expect a structured, supportive environment where both partners can openly express their thoughts and emotions. I guide you through a process of slowing down conflict, identifying triggers, and understanding the deeper emotions driving your interactions. Rather than assigning blame, we focus on recognizing negative cycles and finding new ways to reach each other.
-
What happens after I contact you for therapy?Once we connect and you schedule a session, I’ll send you a link to complete your intake paperwork. This must be submitted to secure your spot. For online sessions, we’ll meet on my secure therapy platform, SimplePractice. You’ll receive a reminder email or text with the meeting link 48 hours before your appointment—and again 10 minutes before we start. Before our session, check in a few minutes early. If you're meeting individually, use earbuds with a microphone for the best sound quality. If you're meeting as a couple, position your camera so I can see both of you. When you log in, you’ll enter a virtual waiting room. At our scheduled time, I’ll start the session.